After a lame gig last Wednesday with my new semi-employers, I got my first taste of what it's really like to be a cater waiter. I worked a wedding reception. It was me and 9 or 10 other waiters/bartenders who took the orders, poured wine and water, and brought and took away food.
The funny thing is, serving is something I've never done before either. I may have exaggerated a little about my skills to the people at Model Bartenders. I didn't lie per say. They assumed that I had experience in the service industry, and I didn't refute that. The truth is I have had experience at a restaurant. As a host. I stood at the front, smiled and walked people to their seats. Honestly, with a company called Model Bartenders I never thought I'd have to do more than that. But nope, last night was my first night as a waiter.
It's funny though. As I was helping set up, I started imagining myself as Bree Van De Camp setting up for one of her high end parties for the social elite. Making sure every tablecloth was centered on every table, always walking around with poise and grace with a pleasant smile on my face. All of my gigs are turning into acting exercises. And I gotta say, I think I pulled off the part well. From 3PM to 12:30AM I walked and served and smiled. And I only spilled and broke one thing! The thing I spilled and the thing I broke were two separate things, but hey it was my first day.
And the whole time, I didn't drink. The liquor was EVERYWHERE and so many people at my table left their wine glasses full all night, but I threw it all in the slop bucket. I was so fascinated by the slop bucket. It's a bucket that you pour the excess liquor in before you put the glasses back into the lugs for the sanit crew (look at all the new words I learned). By the end of the night, it is filled with the grossest mix of all kinds of liquor and mixers and coffee that you can imagine. I thought it would be hilarious to place "sip from the slop bucket" as a wager in a bet. I thought I wouldn't get the chance to do that. I was happily surprised when the DJ started playing "More Money, More Problems" during our dinner break.
The extremely gorgeous bartender who set up all the bars that night, who was a model, but not from Model Bartenders, said that he thought someone from the wedding party was actually on the mic rapping along to the song, and that it wasn't P. Diddy (or Puff Daddy as he was known when the song came out) singing on the track. It was obvious to everyone but Matt, the EXCEEDINGLY gorgeous bartender that it was indeed Mr. Combs voice on the track, because all of us had heard it at least 275 times before. So, since the opportunity was there, I bet the drop-dead-gorgeous bartender a sip of the slop bucket that it was P. Diddy voice, and not a drunken Puerto Rican on the live mic.
I'd like to report that Matt, the man I fantasized about last night as I fell asleep, accepted my wager, but that was way too rich for his blood. I was so disappointed. Not because I wanted my future husband/manstress to get meningitis, but because it would have been hilarious, and a much better end to this story. Unless he actually did get meningitis, in which case, I would be a grieving widow right now.
All in all, it was an EXHAUSTING evening. My feet were in such pain by the end. Between setup, service and tear down, I must have walked the stairs at least 100 times. My legs and back were burning by the end of the night. All of these reasons are why I did not feel bad about indulging in the catered food leftovers for dinner and snacks. I even had a handful of wedding cake.
And though I don't feel like making this a career option for me, I definitely have a new found respect for people in the service industry. I've always respected my fellow actors/servers, but I have never been in their shoes. It's not easy, and it can be down right terrible. Luckily my table was pretty nice, and I was making a catering, not minimum wage. For those people who do that for minimum, I would wash your feet with my hair if you need. For those of you who don't get that reference, #1 you're not my friend anymore, #2 listen to some new Gaga and get back to me.
Netflix/Hulu+ of the night: Desperate Housewives/Xena: Warrior Princess.
Non-alcoholic beverage of the night: Cranberry juice with soda water.
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