The thing about my drinking is, I can control it. I just choose not to most of the time. I'm thinking that's what it's like with a lot of people. They can stop drinking if they want to. Most people don't want to. After all drinking is fun, and a social, and not too harmful if you take it easy.
I do concede, however, that it can go to a level that you can't "just say no" to. If one is drinking morning, noon, and night, and therefore never in a truly sober state, then that's a problem. Once you become physically addicted and you can't go without it without experiencing withdrawal symptoms, that's a problem.
I've never gotten to those states above, possibly because I keep myself in check with these little sabbaticals, and I probably do that because I'm always worried I WILL get to those states above, and I'm worried about that because I'm always anxious about the future, which is the reason I'm in therapy currently.
I wish I could just go with the flow, and not worry about things so much, but as I'm finding out, my left side of my brain works overtime. Always thinking and analyzing what could be. But at the same time, I'm glad that I have a well developed left side. My paranoia about alcoholism keeps me in check, just the same way my paranoia about diseases makes me have safe sex always and ask people about their status, even when I'm stinking drunk.
I've done half a month. I can do another. And I'm definitely slimming out. :)
Today I woke up to moderate rain outside. When you live 140 blocks away from midtown, it's hard enough to get your "get up and go" in the best of weather, let alone when you have to throw on your Marc Jacob galoshes, and drag a soggy umbrella with your burrough bag everywhere you walk.
So the majority of the day was spent doing household stuff. No cookie baking today, though I may have eaten a couple. OK, three. I sewed up some pajamas and found a way to watch some free Showtime online.
When my house guest for the week woke up, he informed me that he thought he had a cold. So, I headed to the pharmacy to buy some Theraflu for him and Airborne for me. I ain't getting sick when my agent informs me that the callbacks for Chicago are scheduled for November 11th. Don't know if I got a callback, but hey, there's still hope.
After lazing about too much, and ordering Chinese food, I realized that if I didn't do something at least a little productive today, I would feel like a complete failure as a human being, not to mention an actor/artist. So I went to the gym. And I had a pretty good workout. Pecs, tris, abs and cardio. All in all it made me feel better, or at least good about not wasting my day.
On my way home, I grabbed a few final things for my Halloween costume, and a pumpkin to carve. My now feeling better house guest and I popped in Hocus Pocus and made a good looking Jack-O-Lantern. It looks like it's gonna be a good Halloween.
Netflix/Hulu+ of the night: (null) DVD - The Exorcism of Emily Rose
Non-alcoholic beverage of the night: Bedtime tea with honey
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