First, I posted on here last night that I was bored. Bored with nothing to do. Then low and behold, today I get a call from the freelance catering service I signed up for the other day: Model Bartenders. I now have a possible gig on Wednesday from 3-8 doing two things I've never done before, model and tend bar.
Second, after going to the gym, and seeing a bunch of actual models working out, and then coming home, and seeing the status updates of good looking facebook friends and their careers and families, I REALLY wanted a bottle of wine. But the good news is, I finally admitted one of my drinking triggers: INSECURITY!
Don't get me wrong, I LOVE when my friends are successful, and even when they're beautiful. But there's the young, fat, unpopular kid in me that always sees those successes and that beauty as something I will never have. And I know, I look in the mirror these days and can admit that I'm an attractive guy, and I've been on frickin' BROADWAY for crying out loud! But when the career is in a valley, or by body is a little out of whack, that kid starts to try to pull me down again. And when he gets too loud, I usually try to silence him with the sauce.
So how do I silence him without it? You do the harder thing. You talk yourself down from the tree. You remind yourself that you are good looking and you were on frickin' Broadway. And if you did it once, you can do it again. It's just gonna take some work. Some of that work will be taking jobs that aren't as glamorous to pay the rent. Some of it will be taking classes. And some of that work is staying away from the bottle for a little bit. But most of it will be believing. It's hard to believe in yourself when the fat kid is bringing you down. But it's the only thing that will bring you back up.
Netflix/Hulu+ of the night: Desperate Housewives
Non-alcoholic drink of the night: Loose-leaf passion green tea with honey
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